answered prayer

Earlier today I got down on my knees and I asked GOD to help my mustard seed (Faith), growth, I asked him to give me the strenght and motivation to continue to seek him and to continue to have faith in him and just believe, even when all odds seem like they are against me. Just 5 mins ago my mothe called me telling me that by the GRACE of GOD, she, my nephew and my brother avoided a major accident, she still doesn't know how it happen but she said had she but an inch to the left or right, they could have either been killed or badly injured. That was nothing but the POWER of GOD, and through that testimony my faith has now been grounded and from here on out it will flurish, so THANK YOU GOD for my answered prayer

Today was a good day

Today was a good day, my mother, nephew, and brother came to visit me in my apartment. It was the first time for all of them and it was a great time, my mom fixed all of my favorite dishes and helped me with a lot of stuff. Today made me realize that GOD is ALWAYS on time. Because he knew that I need their companionship this weekend and boy did it make a difference and I am very thankful for the blessign he gave me

Today has been both a good and somewhat not so good day. Not so good because I had a really bad nightmare which I will explain in a few, and not so go also because the feeling of loneliness came over my spirit. I'm so slowly but surely becoming stronger against it, it's just sometimes I have my moment but I keep reminding myself that GOD is with me, and the more I get to know him better, the closer he will come and then I won't feel lonely ever again. Now.... In reference to my dream, I'm not even sure where it came from because I feel asleep watching family guy. Anyway in my dream, the world was coming to an end and it was being destroyed by fire. Had I wrote this entry earlier I would have been able to tell you my dream in great detail, but I will try to hit the man things that happen. One of the images that is ingrained in my mind is the vision of the planes falling out of the sky as if they were raindrops destroying everything in it's path. I was in the car with my mother, brother and nephew. Crazy enough everyone was scared but my nephew for some reason, I picked him up and put him in my lap and I folded my hands over his and he and I began to recite the Lords prayer. After we said the Lords prayer, the sun exploded and everyone was burned alive. The scary thing is I could feel the heat when I woke up as if it really happened. I don't know what to make of that dream..... On to the good side of my day, I started taking this fat burner pills and I can really feel them working, maybe a little too much lol, also I bought myself a tv stand for my 32 inch tv. It's been a minute since I have spent money in myself so it felt good.

Small changes

So along with my spiritual journey that I just recently started I'm also try to incorporate other small changes with it. For instance, my physical change is just to try and work out more and eat healthy. Now this is easier said than done, because I love me some food lol. Nah but yesterday, I started my first workout regimen and it was difficult to say the least but I did at least put forth the effort and I plan on continuing with  the regimen whether I like it or not, because the outcome is what is important, a healthier me. I have also changed my eating habits quite a bit, for about a week now I have been drinking nothing but whatever, at first I had to force myself, but now its out of habit, it's like I feel weird if I don't have a bottle or cup of water near me. Will I ever drink juice again, probably so, but not anytime soon, I'm really trying to stick with this. Also I have started taking daily vitamins to assist where I lack in my daily intake of fruits and vegetables. So yea as you can see, Im taking baby steps, don't get me wrong i have slipped in the food area, like the other night I order chinese, but surpingsly, all I ate was the broccilli and when it came to the chicken and rice, I had to force myself to eat it, and i still have alot leftover so I guess, my body is actually starting to reject the so called food i once loved. I try to incorporate a salad at least once a day...... Ok enough about my physical journey, lets talk about my mental journey...... This journey consisted of breaking a lot of bad habits, such as what I watch on tv, who I surround myself with and other things of that nature. For instance I am normally a reality tv guru, anything reality tv, i know about it, and I watch it. Well recently I have began to catch myself watching this shows and I will change the channel to either something more productive or I will just do something else. I'm beginning to learn that these shows have had a negative effect on me, in reference to how I treat myself, others, and just constantly sitting there absorbing drama. So lately I have been watching more comedy and of course Spongebob Squarepants with the nephew :) Also I have been reading more and not just textbooks, more so inspirational books that can give me some insight on life and how to do deal with things as they. I will be honest I have never been one to just read the BIBLE and receive things the way others do. Now I do take certain scriptures and try and apply it to my daily life but that is about far as i go. I'm the type of person I learn more from an inspirational book that incorporates scriptures into an everyday life situation, like chicken soup for the soul, TD Jakes books, Joel Osteen books and others....... Wow i have written a lot, well i hope this gives you a little insight into the changes that are going on inside of me

Random

It's crazy as much as I claim I want to sleep in, my biological clock always seems to wake me up around 6:45 or 7:30. And i'm one of those types of people, once i'm up, i'm up. My goal for the end of this year is to try and get rid of my procrastination, or at least cut it down. Lol I remember when I use to call myself a motivated procrastinator, I know that sounds like it doesn't go together, but let it marinate for a second and I believe that you will figure it out. Anyway, so far I have been pretty good, with setting aside time everyday to give to the LORD. Because my schedule is so hectic its not the same time everyday but, no matter the hour, I try to give him, his alone or one or one time. I'm believing that the more I do this, the better my relationship with the Lord will grow. Even in these couple of days I am noticing a change in my prayers, I use to pray to ask for things and I still do, but not as much, now I more so try to give thanks, and try to just talk to him, and my prayers are now more focus on ME and not OTHERS. Don't get me wrong I still pray for my family, friends and loved ones, its just that is the point of this whole process, for ME to build a better relationship with him, so I have to attune the prayers to my spiritual needs. I also try to tell GOD I love him everyday, it's crazy, i remember someone telling me that people say that they love GOD, but they have never really said it aloud to themselves, its more of an inner thought, which is not bad by all means, but it is also good to say it out loud. so with that, I LOVE YOU GOD and i plan on showing you more of that love everyday :)

New Book

Along with my mandatory school readings, I have decided to also add some pleasure readings to my never ending list. I was in the library today when I stumbled upon a book called, " How Can I Let Go, If I Don't Know I'm Holding On? I don't know about you, but this book spoke directly to my heart and I just had to get it. Since I have picked up this book, I can't seem to put it down. This is one of the most powerful books that I have read in a long time. The book is broken down into three parts of: Why to let go, What we need to let go, and How to go about letting things go. At first I thought the most important part of this book would be How to go about letting something go, but its not, yes it plays a good part, but the thing that touched me most is WHY? You see i can tell a person what they need to do and how to do something, but if i don't give them a reason for doing something, they are probably not going to do it. We as humans feed off of the whys, were curious people by nature. Also from this book I found a good website called www.explorefaith.org, its very informative and helpful, if you have some free time i would suggest you take a chance to look at it.

8/23/2010 part 2

I'm the type of person whose mind is always wondering everywhere and who is constantly looking at her cellphone awaiting a text. In order to focus I need something to keep myself busy and sadly that shouldn't be the base. I should be able to sit in silence and just relax and i should be able to go a whole day without looking at my cellphone, or better yet not getting disappointed when i don't see a text from a certain someone. Normally I gauge my life in weeks, months and years. Never seconds, minutes, hours, and days. Starting today im going to try and change that. I'm going to slowly have to ween myself off of certain things. For the moment my goal is to just make it through the day, possibly by keeping myself busy with hw, chores, studying, reading the bible or whatever have you. As easy as this sounds its not, 24 hours to me is a LONG time but i am determine to get through this. Maybe i should start making a checklist for everyday or something, kind of like a block schedule....... I also have to stop with my negative thinking because it is not healthy. It has been holding me back from alot of blessings, but I don't want that to happen again, no let me repharse it WONT happen again. I know that I am going to have not so good days but maybe, just maybe my way of thinking can change that. I don't remember who said this quote but " sometimes you have to learn to dance in the rain".

8/23/2010

Lol its so funny, I use to be really against stuff like this, but now I see it as just a way to vent and to share yourself with others. I decided to start doing this because something drastic happen in my life recently and Im trying to cope with the loss of a love one. I'm hoping through this storm that I will be able to develope a better relationship with GOD. Last Saturday I talked to GOD, like i never had before. I literally dropped down to my knees and laid myself before the Lord, in my most vulnerable form. I mean tears, snot, the whole nine. And I really poured out my heart to GOD and just really talked to him, and I mean I think that was my first time really talking to him. Don't get me wrong I have prayed before but this time was different, genuine desires and longings, and pain and every other emotion emitted itself out of me. I use to think that my prayers fell on deaf ears, but not last Saturday, I felt like it was just me and GOD communicating for the first time.  Its true sometimes GOD has to break you down, before you can truly realize who he is. I'm not going to lie and say that today I am just completely healed and me and GOD are the best of friends. NO, it takes time patience, understanding, trust, love and so many other elements. I may not be GOD's best friend yet, but im closer to him than I was before Saturday. And I may not be completely healed of my pain, but I don't hurt as much as i could be if I didn't have him in my life. To anyone who is reading this, life is NOT a microwave, you can't just set a timer for a minute and then everything is ready to go. It's more like a slow cooker, it takes time to develope, but the finishing product is so worth it...... Anyway this is one of MANY post to come, I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you follow me on my journey of loving GOD, loving MYSELF, and loving LIFE.